I Hate Sneezing

Sneezing is useless, loud, and annoying. I honestly don't know what's the point of it? It's not like a cough where your body is trying to remove something from the airway, it's just a random thing that happens. I really hate sneezing, like I get pissed off when I feel a sneeze coming. First off, it causes you to do an involuntary movement. Seriously, try not to move the next time you sneeze, I'd pay money to see that. Plus it isn't even a cool movement, it's usually a backwards motion of the head followed by a thundering quick forward slam, like someone is performing a single head-bang. Why couldn't it be a badass motion like punching an invisible germ or something, at least then you'd look like a badass when you sneeze. And what's up with the people who sneeze when they look into the sun. Draw me a flowchart on how sunlight entering the iris causes your body to say, "Hey, that fireball in the sky is really bright, we should spray stuff out of the mouth right now". The worst though is when you try to hold in a sneeze, but the force is so great that a small gap forms between the lips causing a whoopy-cushion fart sound to emerge. Most people probably think throwing up is worse than sneezing, but at least when you throw up you actually feel better afterwards. Sneezing just makes you look like a jackass. Scientists should find out what part of our DNA causes sneezing and just laser that shit off, the world would be a better place.

Third Leg

So what if you got frostbite and had to have your penis amputated.. would it be possible to have it replaced with a donar leg from a midget (little person)? Only drawback would be that it would be hairy all the way to the tip, but at least you could use the term "third leg" properly..